Hockey and Peckers

“Keep your pecker up!”

That was the unintentional punch-line to a story Howard shared tonight. I hadn’t seen him in a few weeks and thought I’d stop this evening. He’s 88 and in pretty good form save the bandages on his head and shoulder.

“The stupid asshole cat is trying to kill me,” vowed Howard. “All I was doing was going down the basement stairs when that son-o-a-bitch decided to run between my legs. I fell back on the stairs and have been nursing myself since.” We both agreed that cats are a) only concerned with themselves; and b) evil bastards.

Howard told his son Brent not to come tonight for dinner – he had visited earlier in the day and Howard assured him there was enough to eat in the house. I’ve driven by a few times without stopping when I’ve seen Brent’s truck. Family trumps all other visitors.

Oh, I’ve forgotten the “pecker.”

Howard recounted how they used to do inventory control during the early semester book sale rushes at his store. Every half day, they would change the color of sales slips to keep the students honest – and they’d collect the slips at the end of each half day. A certain clerk working for Howard in the late 60s / early 70s was from England and always entertained with British colloquialisms. Apparently, most of the female sales staff was having lunch in one of the store’s storage areas when the assistant manager came about to collect the morning’s sales slips. Howard reported that he was a bit stressed and the English woman thought he needed a bit of a pep talk. As he left the room, she blurted, “Keep your pecker up!” He made his retreat with wide eyes and gaping jaw. The other ladies in the room tittered appropriately.

It wasn’t until she returned home and her American-born boyfriend explained the local understanding of her admonishment did she fully understand the earlier reactions. To her, it meant “chin-up” and stay positive. Her apologies were epic.

Tonight was the first time while visiting that I felt some emotions welling. I think he sensed it. No, I know he sensed it because he reminded me that every day was a gift and we’re charged with accepting our lives without regret.

He mentioned that in the last month or so he’s lost five friends – even kidding that he regrets living long enough such that no one will be around for his funeral. He especially mentioned his friend Al Renfrew – a former Michigan hockey player and coach – and legend among college-level hockey programs (see Hockey's Greatest Generation).

Howard shared that Al called him a week prior to his death and asked why he was missing from exercise class. Howard explained that he no longer drove. Al assured him he’d pick him up. That was days before his passing.

Perspective strengthens – and I remain grateful to Howard for sharing his perspective and strength.





Image reported to be in the public domain and available here:  Here

Thanks Veterans!

"Courage is almost a contradiction in terms. It means a

strong desire to live taking the form of readiness to die." --G.K. Chesterton

Veterans’ Day is tomorrow. I don’t know about you, but I try very hard to say, “Thank you” to every veteran I encounter – and, somewhat regularly, I have to suppress a tear while doing so.

My father was in the United States Navy and I had a grandfather who served in World War I. My nephew graduated from West Point and served in Afghanistan. I’ve met many veterans from WWII, Viet Nam, and the Middle East. My other grandfather actively supported the war effort as a civilian.

Some of my contemporaries served (thanks Howard, Souther, John, Craig, Allen, Pat and anyone whose name doesn't immediately leap out to me!); and I actually know some former members of Congress who don’t bemoan their support for our troops in some unpopular global conflicts.

I’m the last person who can justify or condemn military action – mostly because I wouldn’t want to be the person who has to make the call. I admire every veteran.

I pray for the safety of our men and women who are active in the service of our Country. Thank you.

I guess if I’m going to opine – I ask that those who send our sons and daughters into harm’s way: please also give the local commanders the ability to make decisions; please give our troops the resources they need.

Thank you Vets!

Chesteron Quote found at:

http://www.latintimes.com/veterans-day-quotes-25-inspirational-sayings-thank-those-who-served-273118

Image reported to be in the public domain and available here:

http://crazywebsite.com/Pg-Free-Clipart-Graphics/pg-Historic_Memorial_Day_Art_Cards/United_States_Patriotic_Art_Card_Memorial_Day-002_jpg.htm

Eight letters; starts with "G" - ends in "K"

Folks who know me well are aware that part of my daily wind-down includes doing a crossword puzzle. Well, in truth, I usually do 3-4 daily: a few online and then buy the New York Times crossword. It’s also kind of a rule – it must be done in pen (yeah, I’m bragging a little!).

The crossword puzzle is familiar: a grid with numbers that correspond to clues that hint at words to enter horizontally or vertically (in the crossword vernacular, Across or Down). You may or may not have noticed, but the blacked out squares are usually presented in a “rotational symmetry” – you could rotate the puzzle 180 degrees and the black boxes would have the same pattern.

The typical daily crossword grid is fifteen by fifteen squares. The Sunday New York Times crossword is twenty-one by twenty-one.

From the American Crossword Puzzle Tournament website (http://www.crosswordtournament.com/more/wynne.html)

The first known published crossword puzzle was created by a journalist named Arthur Wynne from Liverpool, and he is usually credited as the inventor of the popular word game. December 21, 1913 was the date and it appeared in a Sunday newspaper, the New York World. Wynne's puzzle differed from today's crosswords in that it was diamond shaped and contained no internal black squares. ): It was in this period crosswords began to assume their familiar form. Ten years after its rebirth in the States it crossed the Atlantic and re-conquered Europe.

The grid is the key. Or is it?

Of course, it is no surprise that both leftists and rightists are bemoaning the “gridlock” that exists in our U.S. Congress and Executive Branch. Evidence includes that over 300 bills passed by the U.S. House of Representatives haven’t been offered to the U.S. Senate for a vote. Only 12 amendments proposed by Republicans have been put up for a vote; only eight from Democrats.

Gridlock comes from an utter unwillingness to compromise. How dare these elected officials behave in this manner?

I suggest that many voters create the environment where compromise isn’t tolerated.

I’ve met many people who would deny their vote to someone who could end poverty, effectively foster world peace, solve immigration issues, eradicate the national debt, and cure left-handedness (I jest) but don’t stump on the preferred side of that voter’s position on ________________________ (fill in the blank: Gay Marriage, Animal Rights, Marijuana, the Death Penalty, Abortion, Gun Rights, Tax Policy, etc. etc. etc.).

We tell the candidates that we’ll only support them if they adhere lock-step to our particular issue. Those who study such things have posited that this behavior can be predicted through mathematical models. One such model is the Linear Position Model (Davis, Otto A., Melvin J. Hinich, and Peter C. Ordesbook (1970). “An Expository Development of a Mathematical Model of the Electoral Process.” American Political Science Review 64: 426-49):

The Linear Position Model attempts to predict how strongly an individual will issue vote in an election. The model suggests that the more a voter and candidate agree on a particular issue, the better chance the candidate has of receiving the individual's vote. In this model, a graph is used to display the relationship between the number of people

voting for the party and the consistency of the issue position. The equation “Y = a + bX” is used, where the variable “a” represents the minimal amount of people voting for the party, “b” is a variable used to ensure that there is a positive gradient, "X" represents the consistency of the party's issue position, and Y represents the number of people who vote for the party.

Now, that’s a bit more scientific than I am. I just know that I’ve run into plenty of people who will dismiss entire swaths of the population because they don’t fall in step on pet issues. I believe that one can keep one’s principles intact (and perhaps even fortify them) if one is open to listening to opposing points of view. Listening doesn’t put anyone at risk.

Five letters, begins with B: “a person who strongly and unfairly dislikes other people, ideas, etc.”









Crossword image reported to be in the public domain and available at: http://colouringbook.org/art/svg/coloring-book/studiofibonacci-crossword-puzzle-black-white-line-art-scalable-vector-graphics-svg-clip-art-coloring-colouring-book-scallywag-coloring-book-colouring-sheet-coloring-book-colouring-page-colouringbook-o/

Closing clue definition from Merriam-Webster (http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/bigot)
Chart from: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Issue_voting#mediaviewer/File:Linear_Model_of_Issue_Voting,_April_2012.jpg

Howard's Autumn

Regular readers may be wondering why I’ve not mentioned Howard in a while. Frankly, it’s because I’ve not had the chance to visit with him since May. Two to three times a month, I’ve gone to his house and found it dark; frequently enough to cause nervousness.

Tonight, I drove by his place and saw his son’s truck and a light shining from the kitchen. Pulling into the driveway, I saw Brent busy in the kitchen. I didn’t see Howard.

As I plodded up the brick walkway to the house, I saw Howard sitting up a bit behind the drapes. I exhaled.

“Peter, how are you?” came a robust voice. There was my friend, looking better than I remembered and genuinely happy to see me. Brent also offered his warmest greeting. “Go pour us bourbons,” Howard ordered.

We traded news with rapid-fire speed: he wanted to know how work was progressing, how the gang fared from the old watering hole, anything new at the farm. I waited until I could ask how he’s doing. “I’m great. I now have hospice coming – nurses, doctors, social workers – and my pastor comes monthly. I'm 88 and I told God I’m ready – but He’s still saying, ‘tough shit, I’m not ready for you.' ” Who can’t admire that bit of Divine revelation? 

I admit I wasn’t surprised by his revelation –but it was incongruent with how good he looked. “Oh, I have no balance, my left leg doesn’t work so well, and I’m near the end. I’m feeling pretty good because Brent comes by daily, my other son comes weekly, and we share breakfast and/or dinner daily.”

Brent was busy preparing dinner and said that his friend Melanie would soon be there. I said I didn’t want to interrupt. “It will be at least 45 minutes before we eat – sit and enjoy,” assured Brent.

Howard shared that two weeks prior, he struggled to drive home from his beloved daily trip to the bookstore. “I don’t want to hurt anyone, so I’ve parked the car. I’m done driving. I’m home-bound.”

A couple of things struck me: that he willingly ceded his independence in the interest of the public good and the strength and joy he got from his family.

I didn’t stay long but was buoyed by his, his son’s and his son’s friend’s insistence that I visit anytime. I’m a mess of happy and sad.



Image reported to be in the public domain and available here:
https://openclipart.org/detail/196299/autumn-trees-with-a-bird-by-martinaledermann-196299

Weighty Issues

I’ve never been skinny. For the most part I’m usually somewhat height/weight proportionate, but sometimes I’ve put on some pounds for all kinds of reasons – stress, medications, bad diet, personal failings, medical issues.

What I don’t understand is why people – some of whom are friends – find it acceptable to call me out on my weight in public. In the last few months, one friend remarked how much fatter I’ve gotten during what had been a great dinner among several friends. Another, whom I hadn’t seen in 20 years, didn’t say hello, just said, “You’ve gotten chubby.” Another, in front of about 10 people, patted his stomach and said “Looks like winter was good to you.”

Do people think they aren’t being hurtful? Do they believe because we are friends that they have license to humiliate me?

I am blessed with a pretty good mind. I wouldn’t, however, remark to someone, “You probably can’t understand this,” or “I’m surprised you got through school,” or “I can’t believe you haven’t read ___________,” or “Let me explain this so you might understand.”

The media is full of stories about the “obesity crisis” in America and those of us on the plus side are well aware of the macro and our own personal situation. Many of us are trying. It’s particularly disconcerting when one has made some progress – maybe two pounds in a week – and we’re met with disparaging comments. And, of course, we’re supposed to smile and not react.

I am embarrassed to say that I told the “chubby” commentator to “Go f*** yourself!” But it did feel good.

I know that there is much more to me than my weight just as I know there is so much more to each of my friends than their failings – and I’m certain I'm guilty of some insensitive remarks. I’m going to work to make sure I’m positive to those around me.

I might even keep my “go f*** yourself” reactions in check.





Image reported to be in the public domain and available here:   Scale