Sunday, May 5, 2013

The terror within


Over the last couple of years writing this blog, measured readership per entry has ranged from a scant 35 for some of the early postings to nearly 400 for my pieces immediately following the shootings at Newtown, CT and the Boston Marathon bombing.

I guess it is understandable that when there is a horrific incident, we all need to feel connected and if my little enterprise provides any respite, I’m humbled.

Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve become aware of a much larger terror threat. This threat affects more than one in eight Americans in their lifetime, carries an annual negative economic impact nearing $6 billion, and is largely unreported to authorities.

This threat isn’t state sponsored or solidly driven by zealots; it doesn’t warrant TSA’s code red warning nor does it bring the National Security Council together in the White House Situation Room. This threat is domestic violence.

The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV) uses this definition:
“Domestic violence is the willful intimidation, physical assault, battery, sexual assault, and/or other abusive behavior perpetrated by an intimate partner against another. It is an epidemic affecting individuals in every community, regardless of age, economic status, race, religion, nationality, or educational background.”
Their website continues to highlight that 85% of domestic violence victims are women and notes that “[v]iolence against women is often accompanied by emotionally abusive and controlling behavior, and this is part of a systematic pattern of dominance and control.”

I heard the stories of one particular friend’s experience as a victim of domestic violence and, quite frankly, I felt the same blow to the gut as I remember from 9/11 and Newtown. Oh, I’ve been conscious of the public service advertisements, seen the notices in the hospital rest rooms providing resource information on the sly, and scanned various journalists’ profiles of victims with naïve detachment. I wasn’t prepared for the stark realities of her story:

“He kept me confined for nine hours during which time there were several beatings and I was raped.”

“He told me that he didn’t care who was around – he was going to snap my neck.”

“I was so torn – I loved him and feared for my life.”

“You may not realize it, but you know other victims and you know abusers.”

According to the Bureau of Justice Statistics, more than three women and one man are murdered by their intimate partners in our country every day and according to conservative estimates, more than 1,600 are injured. In death tolls, that is more than a Boston bombing every day and a Newtown every week.

There is so much here and so many layers of emotion in every case of domestic violence – pray for the victims and seek help from professionals.

Some resources:

THE NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE:  1-800-799-7233

THE NATIONAL SEXUAL ASSAULT HOTLINE:  1-800-656-4673

THE NATIONAL TEEN DATING ABUSE HOTLINE:  1-866-331-9474


Statistics quoted are from: