Weighty Issues

I’ve never been skinny. For the most part I’m usually somewhat height/weight proportionate, but sometimes I’ve put on some pounds for all kinds of reasons – stress, medications, bad diet, personal failings, medical issues.

What I don’t understand is why people – some of whom are friends – find it acceptable to call me out on my weight in public. In the last few months, one friend remarked how much fatter I’ve gotten during what had been a great dinner among several friends. Another, whom I hadn’t seen in 20 years, didn’t say hello, just said, “You’ve gotten chubby.” Another, in front of about 10 people, patted his stomach and said “Looks like winter was good to you.”

Do people think they aren’t being hurtful? Do they believe because we are friends that they have license to humiliate me?

I am blessed with a pretty good mind. I wouldn’t, however, remark to someone, “You probably can’t understand this,” or “I’m surprised you got through school,” or “I can’t believe you haven’t read ___________,” or “Let me explain this so you might understand.”

The media is full of stories about the “obesity crisis” in America and those of us on the plus side are well aware of the macro and our own personal situation. Many of us are trying. It’s particularly disconcerting when one has made some progress – maybe two pounds in a week – and we’re met with disparaging comments. And, of course, we’re supposed to smile and not react.

I am embarrassed to say that I told the “chubby” commentator to “Go f*** yourself!” But it did feel good.

I know that there is much more to me than my weight just as I know there is so much more to each of my friends than their failings – and I’m certain I'm guilty of some insensitive remarks. I’m going to work to make sure I’m positive to those around me.

I might even keep my “go f*** yourself” reactions in check.





Image reported to be in the public domain and available here:   Scale