A tough subject

[I debated publishing this as my thinking is still evolving. That said, I’d very much welcome feedback from readers who, I know, have much to teach me.]

I do not actively practice a religion – not a boast, but a place where I happen to be. I was raised Catholic and have very good memories of that time of my life and still find solace in aspects of that faith that remain as part of my fabric. I’ve also come to admire many teachings from alternate Christian sects as well as (to the extent I understand) elements of Judaism, Islam, and Hinduism. Heck, I even have learned admirable lessons from secular humanists, Deists, pantheists, and others with a spiritual centering that may discomfort many.

Among the noticeable currents in many religions is the need to atone for wrongdoings or, at the very least, live along a righteous path. Call it Lent, Ramadan, Yom Kippur, or Manusmriti – as I understand each of these, they are proscriptive calls to set ourselves on a proper course of living toward an eventual higher existence. Please forgive my simplistic description, but these all strike me as excellent calls to self-examination and to seek forgiveness or accept guidance toward better living.

OK, here comes the odd juxtaposition – your indulgence is appreciated.

As a nation, we’ve just celebrated Thanksgiving – our national day of thanks – and I got to witness some magnificently articulate statements of gratitude from friends, Facebookers, and local and national figures. I believe that among the times people are at their best are when they demonstrate sincere appreciation for the good things and the good people in their lives.

So, we are encouraged to atone and to give thanks. No complaints here.

But, how are we admonished to actively forgive others and to graciously acknowledge those offering their gratitude?

One small means is that great line in The Lord’s Prayer: “. . . and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”   Kind of puts our own redemption on hold until we are forgiving of others, doesn’t it?

Building on this, I believe that an individual’s moral and emotional health is at least in part dependent on our ability to forgive – and by doing so, to release the chains of resentment that distract us from living our lives. Carrying hurt is a heavy burden and to forgive is a start to living more freely and happily.

I know this is easier said than done in so many cases. Recent headlines more than scream the atrocities that happen in our world that call for rightful condemnation and swift justice. We should, with terrible fervor, condemn certain actions. Even as uninvolved spectators to so many headline-grabbing misdeeds, I hope our blood still boils at the thought of these transgressions. I also acknowledge the ire we feel when those we love have been hurt.

I’m thinking far more personally: when it happens to us. Are there things that happen to us that are unforgivable? I don’t know – I’ve not experienced anything like that. I have experienced the bondage of resentment and felt its emotional upheaval more than once in my life and it wasn’t until I forgave that healing came (and also more than once – lessons about my own misbehavior emerged).

Let me be very clear: it is with respect that I acknowledge that so many are victims of truly heinous things that even the consideration of forgiving perpetrators would make one nauseous. I don’t know an answer and offer no disrespect to victims by this discussion.

There are many times where we can forgive and, by doing so, discover where we can grow in our efforts toward redemption and happiness. I stop short of calling for a national day of forgiveness – in so many cases it is a very personal and difficult thing. I do suggest that when we are seeking spiritual growth through personal atonement, we at least also ask where we need to forgive.


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Hail!

Today, after seven years, the University of Michigan’s football team beat Ohio State University in their annual fall match up 40 - 34. There have been 108 games in the series – Michigan winning 58, Ohio State winning 43; there have been six ties and one victory by Ohio State was vacated due to NCAA violations (2010). The first meeting was October 17, 1897 in Ann Arbor with Michigan carrying the day 34 – 0.

OSU's "Big Nut" visits my friends' tailgate prior to the game

In my life, the faces of the rivalry were undoubtedly Woody Hayes of OSU and Bo Schembechler of UM. Although the two’s last meeting was in 1978, their “ten-year war” still casts a long shadow that elicits emotions yet today. The final tally from those years saw Bo with a 5-4-1 record against Woody. Both of these legendary coaches have passed away.

Wandering around the stadium area this morning, fans garbed in partisan colors were evident (being a home game, maize and blue outshone scarlet and gray by about a 25:1 margin) and good-natured ribbing was bantered between the tailgates. And not all tailgates were purely UM or OSU – there were several where the grill was staffed by a Wolverine while a Buckeye was serving beers.

While bookies and sports pundits assigned Michigan as a favorite going into today’s matchup, every fan of this rivalry denied that either team had a clear edge going into the game. Several lead changes throughout the game and startling momentum shifts underscored the clear unpredictability of the game. That’s what made it so fun – despite punting my heart into my throat more than a few times!

Rivalries, with proper perspective, do something special for us. We rally behind our teams win or lose and revel when our boy’s bring one home or temper our disappointment with “wait until next year.” It’s a healthy day of emotion, fellowship, and, in most cases, sportsmanship.

Why is it, then, that personal rivalry – among family members, co-workers, or social circles – can become so ugly? It is as though the bulwarks of sportsmanship and fair play can get dismissed in a “win-at-all-costs” emotional scrum. I’m embarrassed to admit that I’ve been guilty of this – that beating another or simply seeing their misfortune has been of too great a delight to me.

A distinction probably is important: there is no sin in being driven to be the best – as measured by your performance and output. But to be the best based on other’s misfortune is entirely a different animal. Cutting the legs out from under one’s personal rival proves only one thing – that you are more vicious than him or her – not that you are the better salesperson, tradesman, academic, parent, administrator, sibling, etc.

While no one (especially me) likes to lose, being out performed by another can spell opportunity. Instead of going on the attack or bemoaning personal shortfalls, focus on the new day. What else can I bring to the field of battle to shine? What is deep within me that I’ve not yet found? How do I overcome self-imposed obstacles?

I have no universal answers. I will, however, share an inspiring clip that I’ll pull out from time to time when I’m faced with what seems insurmountable. I believe this to be one of the best acted scenes I’ve seen on film. Kenneth Branagh’s depiction of King Henry in the 1989 film Henry V (based on Shakespeare’s play The Life of Henry the Fifth). Produced by Bruce Sharman with the BBC and Branagh’s company Renaissance Films, the film includes a gritty depiction of the build up to the Battle of Agincourt (where the English were severely outnumbered by the French by a 6:1 estimate) that I find very inspiring – I hope you do too.



Reach within; be your best. Oh, and, congratulations Wolverines on a great victory today!

Thanksgiving

For each new morning with its light,
For rest and shelter of the night,
For health and food, for love and friends,
For everything Thy goodness sends.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson


I am thankful for my family – parents, brother, sister-in-law, nieces, nephews, uncles, aunts, cousins, ancestors. . .

I am thankful for my friends – you are a wide-ranging and diverse group of bandits and saints. . .

I am thankful for those people who smile and nod even though we are not entirely sure of each others’ name. . .

I am thankful for my surrogate nieces and nephews. . .

I am thankful for my education – it's a daily challenge, but so far, it’s gone well. . .

I am thankful for those who forgive me when I’m foolish or unkind. . .

I am thankful that God has a sense of humor and infinite patience. . .

I am thankful that from time to time I seem to make a difference. . .

I am thankful for those who’ve taught me love. . .

I am thankful for those who’ve whooped me upside my head as needed. . .

I am thankful for some very good doctors. . .

I am thankful for every bump in the road; every punch in the gut; every toe stub – and their lessons. . .

I am thankful to live in the United States of America and for our men and women in uniform – be they military or first responders. . .

I am thankful for constructive disagreement and honest debate. . .

I am thankful for great art, great music, great food, and great style. . .

I am thankful that I can be a productive member of society and contribute in my own small ways. . .

Amen.



Image reported to be in the public domain and can be found at:  
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