Idioms and Baby Powder

I think all families – or circles of friends – have an idiomatic fingerprint. Catch phrases in my home included a saying for high praise (“Not too shabby”), an expression to describe a long, hard day (“I am emotionally spent”) and even one for denying that one was asleep (“I was just resting my eyes”).

One that has made its rounds among a circle of friends defines severe discontent, partial loathing, heavy disappointment or even simple irritation. It’s simple and a bit vulgar, yet it conveys a clear message. When upset or angry with a person, place or life in general, we claim “a case of the ass.” Usage can vary (“I have a case of the ass” “He just has a case of the ass” “She’s starting to get a case of the ass”) but the message is elegantly clear. I’m sure that derivatives include references to chaffing, grinding, or simply “pain in the.”

For the last month or so, I’ve had a case with respect to the several years’ favored watering hole (where I met Howard and a whole cast of admirable characters). The management was summarily dismissed and favored bartenders were treated with disrespect – one even shown the door. The place hasn’t been updated in years; the parking lot is a war zone of potholes, the menu tired and the food quality lacking. We gathered there because of the people: managers and servers who knew your name and your “usual,” a miscellany of good folks who shared a true, keen respect and genuine friendship.

The ownership decided that it was going to clean house (I assure you, only figuratively!) and improve their margins. No argument there – run your business how you wish to run your business. Suddenly, happy hour appetizers were portioned down, drinks were priced $2 – 3 more than previous levels, and threats were levied at the staff in place of sound management (let alone leadership).

The parking lot remains scarred, the receding snow reveals landscaping full of litter, dust layers continue to accumulate. The food is unappealing and the new managers have made no attempt to introduce themselves to us “regulars.”

I’ve voted with my feet – I’m patronizing other restaurants that are far better run. While I miss “the gang” I don’t care to enable bad business practices.

Today, Thursday, was my friend R______’s typical evening shift behind the bar. I hadn’t seen her in some time and thought I’d stop quickly to visit, do a quick crossword and nurse a draft of ale (I can’t justify paying $9 for a drink in a $5 dollar bar). Upon arrival, she gave me a warm hello and a hug and quickly went to the far end of the bar.

She returned and produced an envelope marked “Pete” and handed it to me. I must have twisted my face into the international “what the heck is this” position. I opened it and she said that it was an invitation for a party happening that very moment in the restaurant’s private dining room. I was still confused and she said it’s for Dan’s 80th birthday.

“Go check it out,” she urged.

Wow. There were about 30 people gathered and when I entered, both Dan and his wife brightened like that first spring sun. “We didn’t know if you were coming!”

I explained that I hadn’t been in the restaurant for a month or so (leaving out all chaffing references) – the invitation left for me was two weeks in the waiting . . . had I not stopped, I would have missed the entire gathering.

Over the next hour, Dan’s children entertained us with harmonies and a guitar; stories were traded about how Dan and his wife (fiancée at the time) survived his being stationed in in Southeast Asia and she teaching in the Philippines; and we shared how we all met.

Dan and I met about 5-6 years ago – at the bar – when he suddenly began choking and I helped him regain his breath. He and his wife claimed that I saved his life – I know I helped him, but I don’t think he was in full respiratory arrest. Nonetheless, getting hugs from him, his wife and his children was just about the nicest thing that could happen this week.

I’m not ready to disavow my “case” but I do begrudgingly value the therapeutic talcum of reunions and friendship.




Photo reported to be in the public domain and available HERE