Happy Birthday Howard

This morning, the rate of rainfall was nearly an inch per hour. By 1:30 pm, unfamiliar blue skies and sunshine played its happy havoc on the greater Ann Arbor area. My morning decision of a sweatshirt and windbreaker (insufficient for warmth at the time) was fully stifling by the time I had a ten block walk to a vendor’s office in the afternoon. The cliché stands: if you don’t like Michigan’s weather, wait ten minutes.

In the light of Donald Sterling’s racist rant, discussion at the watering hole included reaction to the lifetime ban and of race itself. An African-American friend (and also a basketball coach) said that despite being black, he probably would not have levied a lifetime ban. I for one believe that the NBA did the right thing – any chance we have to turn the page on institutionalized racism should be seized.

On the way home I thought I’d see if my friend Howard was home. I saw his kitchen light on, but no response at the door. On a hunch, I peered into his garage and saw his car. Given the weather, I decided to walk around his house and, sure enough, found him snoozing on his deck with a book in his lap.

He must not have been too deeply asleep as he looked up and, with a smile, fussed about what the “cat dragged in.”

The winter was hard on Howard. He had one overnight hospital stay in February and missed over two months of church services. He explained the hospital stay, “I just couldn’t breathe.” His next line was tough to hear, “I won’t go back.”

Over the next hour, we shared stories of the last few months (yes, feeling guilty that it’s been that long since I saw him), discussed challenges we each were facing, and reported on mutual friends. He was alert, engaged and chatty.

This past week, Howard turned 88. We toasted this milestone but he was quick to add that he didn’t believe he’d see 89. I asked why. “I asked God for one more summer and maybe a fall – that’s all I want. I know I’m close.”

I have too much respect for him to offer platitudes or empty assurances. I asked if I could enjoy the last summer with him – he asked in earnest that I do.

The balance of the visit was filled with reports of his interactions with his doctors, his church community, and his family. We even discussed Pope Francis – Howard is a Congregationalist and has significant respect for the pontiff.

This wasn’t a sad visit – I feel very fortunate that he’d discuss the intimacies of life and death with me. I don’t know if his prophecy will come true; I did marvel at the peace he’s achieved and look forward to finding similar peace one day.