Overthinking

I woke up today to find this in an email:

I look for lessons in lives well lived, and of course, that is, itself, the lesson. Live well. Follow your dreams. Make of your life a blessing — and not because there are any guarantees, but because there aren't.

You live a good life with lots of people who love you and you're making a difference in people's lives.

Just thought about you this am.

I also got to enjoy some thirty-plus year friends on Friday and Saturday with a visit to their home. Friday’s dinner gathering included two of their daughters with their husbands and a menu my hostess hadn’t ever served the family. One daughter, enjoying the shrimp, couscous, cheesy bread and other fixins’ asked her mother why they hadn’t had it before. The answer was: “Peter was coming, I had to do something special.”

Later that night, well into a session of solving the world’s problems, I asked my host, “Why am I here? Why does your family like me?” He smiled, paused a bit, and then said, “We love you.”

This is one of those times I shouldn’t think too much, nor take a thing for granted. But, as many know, that isn’t how I usually roll!

Is it hard to accept kindness and love? I know that the sentiments I mention above (and have received from others – not the least of which is a photo I include with this post from students I had the privilege to mentor) are sincere, heartfelt and made with no base motives. I hear these words while being severely aware of all my skeletons, foibles and failings and it’s hard to wrap my head around the affection. Is it common to define oneself only through the harsh prism of self-doubt?

I really am not trying to be melodramatic, but does anyone else feel this way? Do some? Do most?

I’ve often said that if anyone hears me whining about life, they have my permission to smack me upside the head – I’m blessed in so many ways and am very grateful.

It's time to take a deep breath, and realize that it's okay to accept love and appreciation.