With a little help from my friends

Been a full week. Had two hernias repaired on Wednesday, July 3 (which is far better than the original surgery date of 8/16). . . everything (so far) points to total success with the surgery. Pain? Hell, yeah. But a correct dosage of prescription and OTC analgesics have kept the beast (mostly) at bay. Lots of bruising and a fair amount of swelling. I’m sure I’ll survive.

What is the most important message of this post is my utter thanks to the many friends who have seen me through the process. Ann came the evening before to make sure that the beds had fresh linen and that my larder was well stocked. Tami took me to the surgery, stayed, and ushered me home (with homemade soup). Jennifer came the evening of the surgery (after Tami’s departure) to sit with me and keep me from lifting, carrying, etc. When Jennifer had to leave, Renae came to spend the night so I’d have a baby sitter through the first 24 hours – Renae crashed in the guest room next to my room so that if I called out in the night, she’d hear me.

Renae had to leave early on the fourth for a family event – but my pal Craig came and patiently tolerated my whines from the lack of residual meds I enjoyed on day one. He left late morning and Grant and Annie came early afternoon to attend to this beaten soul. Grant cooked all afternoon for an event later that day (remember, this is 7/4) and Annie decided that the place needed vacuuming. Grant left some goodies for the balance of my week of rehabilitation.

Friday, 7/5, friends from Domino’s days (1985 – 1993) came late morning to keep me company and feed me well – thank you Dana and Janet! That evening, Pam and Chuck brought dinner and a number of laughs!

Saturday, Tami came that morning to rescue me from stir-crazed boredom – we went to the grocery store and out to breakfast. That raised my spirits significantly!

Sunday, one planned visit ended up not working – but my neighbors Elizabeth and Tony came to my rescue with groceries and company!

Monday – my friend Paulette came that afternoon with leftovers from their Independence Day party – lamb, bean salad with feta, Armenian potato salad, etc. We sat on the front porch and enjoyed the rockers and the view.

Tuesday, I thought I’d be fine to drive. Um, no. Learned that lesson

Wednesday, tried driving again – not as bad, but not ideal. Thankfully, my pal Craig came by that evening to distract me from overdoing the day.

Today, Thursday, Bruce brought dinner and good company – and attended to a chore that, while not critical, was annoying to the view from the porch!

I also need to thank and acknowledge friends who also offered their help during the recovery process: Karen, Patty, Vicki, Jared, David, Peter, and Kathy. I also want to mention that my brother, upon hearing my diagnosis, immediately asked if he could help. I may still rely on your kindness!

Twelve years of Catholic education recall the Corporal Works of Mercy . . . and to visit the sick was one of the seven. Well, in less than a week, some 20 of my friends have fulfilled this work of mercy. I’m thankful, humbled, and hope I can be there for you someday!


Image reported to be in the public domain and can be found: Here

Merry Christmas!

This has been my kind of Christmas.

I have some incredible friends who reach out to me during the holidays. Their invitations are heartfelt, genuine and more than appreciated. People (appropriately) don’t want me (or anyone) to be alone on a holiday.

I spent yesterday and part of today with some amazing hosts. We started at their home – prepping and cooking for a dinner that would be enjoyed at the husband’s childhood home. I gathered with him and his wife, his mother, son and daughter-in-law, daughter and her friend. 

We enjoyed Alaskan crab legs, caviar, salad, wine, and laughter. It was my first visit to the family homestead and it was an honor to tour through the stone home, hear its history and their family stories.  One of the delights was to hear that it was part of the Underground Railroad – very prevalent through that part of Southern Michigan.

After dinner, we returned to my friends’ house – I found my favored couch for sleep and (was told) I provided snores that could rival any sawmill. It was a great sleep!

Today, Christmas, I watched their gift exchange and co-piloted some cooking (cheese soup, crab Eggs Benedict – all adding to the lamb/pork/beef we prepped the day before. There is no lack of cooking/eating when we gather!

This year, I decorated my house with lights and have a Christmas tree – the first time in decades. There were some motivators (I hosted a dinner for 12 and have friend whose tree decorating skills are amazing) – but it was unusual that I had any seasonal decorations. 

Later this week I will visit my brother and his family, dine with more friends, and, thanks to the scheduled closure of the University of Michigan (my employer), have 4-5 days to catch up on the important chores of paying taxes, doing laundry, and taking down the holiday decor (though I’m told that the lights on the house would be a hit at Easter!).

This is probably one of the dullest posts I’ve offered (sorry!). My point? That friendship is critical and that embracing the season isn’t so scary. I might even buy some poinsettias next year!  

I wish a Merry Christmas and a Blessed New Year to all my readers. Let’s all have an amazing 2019!

If you feel out of sorts during the holiday season (or any time), reach out to family and friends . . . and don't forget that there is a National Suicide Prevention Hotline:  1-800-273-8255.

Listen

In several admonitions, I've read that one should listen with the intent of understanding – rather than listen with the intent of replying (decrying). Is this possible anymore?

In the 1970s, I went with a friend to distribute political flyers. His father was deeply involved with local politics and had recruited us for an afternoon of stuffing flyers under the windshield wipers of cars parked at the Monroe County Fair. These flyers were in support of a candidate from the ___________ Party.

While we were scooting between rows of cars, an RV rolled into the parking lot. The side of the RV was painted asking John Q. Public to support the opposing candidate – obviously from the ___________ Party.

The opposing candidate asked my friend’s father if he had a minute to talk. They disappeared into the RV for about 20 minutes.

When he emerged – with a big smile and a hearty handshake from the candidate – he said, “Boys, our job has changed. Start taking those flyers off the cars and replace them with these. “These” were the RV candidate’s flyers.

I was an underclassman in high school at the time, but this left quite an impression. An impression so deep that I remain leery (hoping I’m not cynical) about the entire political machine. I witnessed an individual change loyalties in essentially the snap of a finger.

Incidentally, the RV candidate won the election and my friend’s father ascended to his Washington, DC staff. Probably a coincidence (oops, that was cynical, wasn’t it?).

I think quite of few “Mr. Smiths” go to Washington (if you don't know the allusion, watch Jimmy Stewart in this marvelous Frank Capra directed film Mr. Smith Goes To Washington).  I do, sadly, believe that the political culture changes good people. Suddenly, being in power unseats their soul.

What’s that old joke? How do you tell if a politician is lying? Their lips are moving.

I was so excited to vote when I turned 18 – and I remain committed to voting in every election during my lifetime. Every year, however, I become more and more sickened by the election cycle.

Oh, sure – the “other side” has done this and the “other side” is guilty of that. Well, that’s both sides – accept it.

There was a “60 Minutes” interview with a recently retired politician. In the interview, he was called out for lying on the Senate floor about the opposing party’s presidential candidate (who lost). This former Senator said, “Worked, didn’t it?”

Now, the political machine’s vitriol is infecting the general populous. Decades-long friends no longer speak because they are on opposite sides of the divide. There is an assumption that followers of certain candidates are awful human beings and are chided. Unless you agree with X or Y, you are subhuman.

This started with a lament about listening. Here’s a thought – sit down with someone whose views (and votes) do not match yours. Calmly listen to what he or she believes. Don’t counter. Don’t try to convert. Listen. Listen. Listen.  Then, ask them to listen. If he or she won’t - start over with another person.

We all love our country – in hundreds of different ways! Avoid the vitriol.

And, if you see me on the street – give me a hug and tell me not to be cynical! 

Ear image reported to be in the public domain and available HERE.