Weighty Issues

I’ve never been skinny. For the most part I’m usually somewhat height/weight proportionate, but sometimes I’ve put on some pounds for all kinds of reasons – stress, medications, bad diet, personal failings, medical issues.

What I don’t understand is why people – some of whom are friends – find it acceptable to call me out on my weight in public. In the last few months, one friend remarked how much fatter I’ve gotten during what had been a great dinner among several friends. Another, whom I hadn’t seen in 20 years, didn’t say hello, just said, “You’ve gotten chubby.” Another, in front of about 10 people, patted his stomach and said “Looks like winter was good to you.”

Do people think they aren’t being hurtful? Do they believe because we are friends that they have license to humiliate me?

I am blessed with a pretty good mind. I wouldn’t, however, remark to someone, “You probably can’t understand this,” or “I’m surprised you got through school,” or “I can’t believe you haven’t read ___________,” or “Let me explain this so you might understand.”

The media is full of stories about the “obesity crisis” in America and those of us on the plus side are well aware of the macro and our own personal situation. Many of us are trying. It’s particularly disconcerting when one has made some progress – maybe two pounds in a week – and we’re met with disparaging comments. And, of course, we’re supposed to smile and not react.

I am embarrassed to say that I told the “chubby” commentator to “Go f*** yourself!” But it did feel good.

I know that there is much more to me than my weight just as I know there is so much more to each of my friends than their failings – and I’m certain I'm guilty of some insensitive remarks. I’m going to work to make sure I’m positive to those around me.

I might even keep my “go f*** yourself” reactions in check.





Image reported to be in the public domain and available here:   Scale

Think globally, live locally

Ground war in Gaza; Malaysian jet shot out of the sky; 50,000+ children being abandoned on the U.S. border; criminals well-armed and rampant in gun-controlled Chicago; crowd beating of man stopping to help a child accidently hit; students poisoning teachers; gunmen shooting two-year olds; free speech challenges; religious freedom adjudicated; millions of cars deemed unsafe to drive; police officers ambushed by gang members; idiots on the left/idiots on the right.

Why do we even get out of bed?

I recently remarked (via FB) that I’m the luckiest guy on the planet – I stand by that statement. My post was immediately after two hours of telephone conversation with a former mentor who needed, well, mentoring; or, at least an ear.

In the previous few weeks, I’ve been able to tackle a big project with a former mentee, knock out some delicious eats for a party of 130+, hear an update from a young man nearing the end of his ROTC training and the start of a most promising military career, help some people direct their donations to some very important needs, praise and correct, and take my mother to lunch.

The farm has a few upgrades; I’m involved in a couple weddings this summer; found an amazing deal on a power washer; delivered good news and bad news; tended my little garden; over-tipped the fellows who spent extra time washing the truck; helped my alma mater; scored par on two holes.

Chores, for the most part, are up to date and the weekend is well-planned.

National and international challenges are real and deserve attention and understanding – but, ought they never prevent us from living life locally.

Go say “hello” to your neighbors.






Image reported in the public domain and available here:  
http://www.clipartpal.com/clipart_pd/education/schoolnewspaper_11676.html

Father knows best

Sometimes I play defense.

Fathers’ Day (FD) is one of those instances. With Dad gone over thirty years and no children of my own, it is emotionally helpful to ignore the day. Someone posted on their Facebook profile a video showing a cross section of a father’s investment in his children and I made the mistake of watching. People who know me well will know the weepy result.

Last year, I got to see an uplifting amateur dance recital just before FD and I enjoyed a young lad’s off-tempo enthusiasm and mused about what a parent may feel (click here). This year, work obligations prevented me from returning to the show, but I heard that it was equally successful with talented exhibition and earnest child efforts.

This year, I’ve spent the week leading up to FD hosting students and alumni, stressing through a board meeting, captaining a golf outing, more meetings with students, and investing in the local economy by upgrading the mechanics here at the farm. Tomorrow, I get to host a bachelor party (golf and steak – nothing that would keep any of us off the Supreme Court). I guess I’m keeping busy and distracted.

My “no whining meter” is beeping. Sorry.

According to the National Fatherhood Initiative website, one in three children in our country live in a home without the biological father – that’s 24 million children. They cite statistics about children in these environs having increased incarceration rates, more emotional and behavioral problems, increases in poverty, teen pregnancy, involvement in crime, obesity, substance abuse, etc. It is a startling website (http://www.fatherhood.org/father-absence-statistics).

Although I’m looking across the fence at some pretty green grass, I’m pretty sure that being a father is a magnificent experience. It makes no sense that so many children do not have two parents in their lives. My interactions with students give me enough of a taste of offering guidance and support to young people that I would like to let all of those absent parents know what they are missing.

Happy Fathers’ Day to my friends – hug your Pop.





Photo reported to be in the public domain and available here: Link