Decisions beckon

Those who know me well will smile after this next statement: I tend to over think things.

Oh, it isn’t limited to agonizing decisions nor life changing situations – it includes daily questions such as what is the most efficient set of steps to make cold cereal; should I start at Lowe’s or the locally owned hardware store; what is the optimal position in the garage when I park the car?

I’m pretty sure it isn’t more than mild OCD – but I think it serves me well. This includes my plan for my annual garden. Not only does one need to consider where the tomatoes are best planted (if here, I can tie to the fence as they grow), but it’s imperative to consider the best ways to water a 17’ x 8’ planting bed. I’ve made progress, but I’m not 100% satisfied.

These plans pale in comparison to what my pal Howard is considering.

Tonight, I got a chance to visit (it’s been about five weeks) with Howard. Other than a common cold, his health was good relative to what I’ve previously reported. He still can’t gain weight and is eating a scant 800 – 900 calories daily (“I used to have a big appetite. This bothers me.”).” I’m ranging between 139 and 144 pounds,” he shared. “The biggest issue is that all my pants have 36 inch waists and I’m about a 30 now.” I offered to buy him suspenders.

He told me of his childhood – his mother died when he was age 5 and he was raised by a series of housekeepers and his father. He recounted which were the best of his housekeepers and, without question, Mrs. Whitney was his favorite. “She was an amazing cook, had two children of her own, and managed them and us despite having been deserted by her husband.” This was in the 30s. When Howard reached 14 years, the housekeeping and cooking became his responsibility.

His mother’s name was Emma. Howard led me to his den and showed me a picture – classic hat, fur coat, and ringlet curls. She was a concert violinist and his only clear memory of her was that she practiced each morning.

In that same den, Howard showed me some possessions that were dear to him: a 150 year old Persian rug; a bronze statue of a rooster acrowin’; a magnificent cabinet crafted in Korea that had its interior lined with Korean newsprint from the 40s – a treasure of Hangul script on degrading parchment.

We returned to his main sitting area and I asked how he was feeling. His answer was brave with couched hope. He’s been pondering moving to an assisted living facility. He’s also been doing the math and doesn’t believe he should spend up to $50,000 annually to live in a 900 square foot apartment when it costs him (taxes, utilities, upkeep) about $28,000 to live in his 2000 square foot home. A setting that allows him to live among his life’s treasures.

He’s decided that a frank discussion with his two sons will be in order. I wish them all well with a decision that, at best, can only be second guessed when all is said and done.

This past weekend, he attended a dinner to honor the graduates of Chelsea High School who achieved cum laude or better. He had mentored one of the students through his church and knew another who was his Pastor’s son. “These young people are amazing,” he concluded.

I’m glad I get to visit with Howard and learn of the rich history of the Ann Arbor area and enjoy his hospitality. Among tonight’s gems was learning that at one point, there were six different theaters in downtown Ann Arbor. Most of these buildings exist today as restaurants or retail outlets.

No huge points tonight. Just a nice visit with my friend.