Swift action

In his first major (and perhaps most complex) satire, Jonathan Swift introduces us to three brothers who each were gifted new coats by their father. These coats had two virtues: “One is, that with good wearing, they will last you fresh and sound as long as you live; The other is, that they will grow in the same proportion with your Bodies, lengthening and widening of themselves, so as to be always fit.” (P. 302) I refer to A Tale of A Tub published in 1704 - likely written in the 1690s.

The boys were to “wear them clean, and brush them often” and full instructions relative to their wearing could be found in the father’s will. Each brother’s adherence to these instructions would determine future fortunes; and the boys were to live together in one house “like Brethren and Friends, for then you will be sure to thrive, and not otherwise.” (P. 302)

While I’m confident that the metaphor is familiar to most readers, I’ll go ahead and provide a spoiler: the coats are Christianity, the father’s will, well, is the Father’s Will, and the admonition to live together like “Brethren and Friends” suddenly becomes clear.

The boys, upon reaching adulthood, generally did a good job keeping their coats in good order even though

they quickly began to improve in the good Qualities of the Town: They Writ, and Raillyed, and Rhymed, and Sung, and Said, and said Nothing; They Drank, and Fought, and Whor’d, and Slept, and Swore, and took Snuff; They went to Plays on the first Night, haunted the Chocolate-Houses, beat the Watch, lay on Bulks, and got Claps; They bilkt Hackney-Coachmen, ran in Debt with Shop-keepers, and lay with their Wives; They kill’d Bayliffs, kick’d Fidlers down Stairs . . . . 

Swift concludes this portrait that the “three Brothers had acquired forty other Qualifications of the like Stamp, too tedious to recount, and by consequence, were justly reckoned the most accomplish’d Persons in the Town.” (P. 302-303)

With this firm moral grounding, the brothers Peter, Martin and Jack, fell prey to cultish movements that encouraged adorning their coats with lace, gold, shoulder knots, and other refinements (P. 306-310) to the point that the coats were no longer recognizable as the coats gifted from their father (remember the whole Christianity thing?). And, to deal with their digressions from their f(F)ather’s w(W)ill by claiming allowances, interpretations, and other edits. The original document eventually being locked up in a strong box (sourced either from Greece or Italy! P. 310).

Longish story shortened – in time, the brothers Martin and Jack (ahem, Luther and Knox) soon realized how far afield they were relative to their coats and rebelled against Peter. Peter told them they were no longer welcome in the house and sent them on their way. The metaphor continues (showing Martin as the eventual hero – that is, the first generation reformer – whom had Swift’s natural sympathy as he was an Anglican). Martin carefully restores the coat by delicately removing all the trappings without harming the original fabric. Jack (lampooned by Swift as a rabid second generation reformer – I’m assuming you figured out Peter represented the Catholic Church in Swift’s satire) rips the trappings willy-nilly from the coat tearing the original fabric to shreds.

Throughout A Tale of a Tub, Swift blasts politicians, pseudo-science, modernists, politicians, royalty, etc. While it is a book that gave me hours of entertainment, it is probably best enjoyed well-armed with historical context and an appreciation for the author’s bias.

So, how does this relate to the Blackdog Bog? Oh, I don’t know, but I have had a few experiences lately that can also be cut and sewn as clothing metaphors:  I had a chance to try on a new shirt but decided that it wasn't going to fit - even before trying it on; been contemplating a rediscovered, once comfortable, shirt that may not fit as well anymore (did I grow or did it shrink?); finding a shirt that fits exceptionally well, but realizing that I’ve grabbed it out of the wrong locker; designing and fabricating a shirt that everyone loves but having to trust others to produce it; asking when was the last time I gave the shirt off my back to someone in need; trying on a shirt that may or may not reflect my style – but being told it looks good.

Yes, I’m being more than a bit vague – kind of the fun of the metaphor and the privilege of the author! What personal metaphors contribute to your understanding of your life?





Citations from The Writings of Jonathan Swift, edited by Robert A. Greenberg and William B. Piper, published 1973 by W.W.Norton & Company, Inc.


Title page of the 1704 Tale of a Tub was set and produced by John Nutt, 1704, and is in the public domain. Reproduction is from an original.